Kevin Pearce finds acceptance, peace at X Games

ASPEN, Colo. — In so many ways, Kevin Pearce doesn’t feel like himself on a snowboard. His vision doubles when he moves, the most persistent and disrupting effect of a traumatic brain injury he suffered seven years ago.

The coordination that once made him one of the best halfpipe riders in the world is missing. The snowboarders are doing the same tricks he was when his competitive career ended.

Yet in his return to the X Games, Pearce has found acceptance and peace.

“It almost should be harder for me that I can’t do what I used to be able to do and that I was where I was, but it’s not,” says Pearce. “And I don’t allow myself to go to that place and be like, I was so good.”

Instead, Pearce focuses on the present. His trip to the X Games, where he once claimed four medals and was a top challenger to Shaun White, was a chance to come back to a place he loves with a different perspective.

Rather than dismay, Pearce focuses on a quote from spiritual author Eckhart Tolle — “What could be more futile, more insane, than creating inner resistance to something that already is?”

“This brain injury is,” Pearce says. “This happened to me, so creating inner resistance to this is completely insane because I cannot take it back. I cannot change what happened to me and I never will be able to change Dec. 31, 2009. That day happened.”

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That day Pearce, 29, hit his head against the edge of the halfpipe trying to land a double cork while training in Park City, Utah, for the 2010 Olympics. The traumatic brain injury led to years of rehab to relearn motor skills, improve his memory and function in everyday life.

His vision remains the most lasting problem from the TBI, with Pearce dealing with nystagmus, which causes his eyes to make uncontrolled movements.

Talking on a couch at the base of Buttermilk Mountain, Pearce says he can see a USA TODAY Sports reporter fine if he sits still. Moving closer, his vision doubles as he demonstrates how his left eye sits higher than his right and his eyeballs shake.

“It’s almost like my eyes are paralyzed,” he says. “If you’re paralyzed, you can’t walk, but you know how to walk. I know how to see one person, but there’s two.”

The lingering effects of his injury are part of what Pearce talks about as part of his efforts to educate people on TBIs and concussions. Pearce started the Love Your Brain Foundation, a non-profit which helps people who have suffered brain injuries.

Slowly, Pearce is seeing acceptance of the seriousness of brain injuries.

“To really love something, it’s hard to do,” he says. “Especially something that doesn’t give you the feelings that make you want to love it. When you love your brain, it’s not like when you love your girlfriend. You don’t get the same thing back.”

For Pearce, loving his brain has meant healing through yoga and meditation. He says both have changed his life.

And he still have his love of snowboarding.

While he doesn’t compete in a halfpipe anymore, Pearce still rides. At the X Games, he took part in the Special Olympics Unified Giant Slalom. The event pairs a pro rider with a Special Olympics athlete.

“Just seeing the light and energy and excitement to be a part of this, something that’s so vast and something that you could never dream of, it was incredibly special and just so rewarding on such a different level than I was ever used to when coming to X Games,” says Pearce.

It has special meaning to Pearce, whose brother, David, has Down syndrome. He looks forward to their mother, Pia, joining them here next year – although he knows his gregarious brother might steal the show, as he did in “The Crash Reel,” a documentary about Pearce’s injury and recovery.

“It’s like over,” Pearce quips. “No one’s gonna talk to me.”

Certainly, they will. Pearce is still beloved here, although the event – and his riding – have come to mean something different in the years since his injury.

He doesn’t feel the same on his snowboard, but he’s still grateful for what he can still do on one.

“It’ll always have a small role, but it continues to get smaller and more mellow,” Pearce says. “But it will always be a part of my life because it’s one of my most favorite things to do to be out on my snowboard.”