Joe Maddon's sarcastic rant against MLB slide rule includes 'cup check' suggestion

ST. LOUIS - Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon, still seething over the controversial slide rule that cost his team a run on Saturday in their 5-3 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals, said if Major League Baseball really wants to keep everyone safe, he’s got a few ideas that baseball should adopt.

And revealed it all Sunday with a straight face:

“I think we should consider now eliminating the head-first slide to protect baserunners," Maddon said. "That is really a dangerous slide. To head-first slide you can hurt your hand, and your eye can be poked out. All different things can occur on a head-first slide.

"I also believe, you saw (Arizona Diamondbacks catcher Chris) Iannetta get hit in the mouth the other day on a pitch. I think the facemask should be mandatory for all hitters, and pitchers have been hit in head with line drives several times. Pitchers should be forced now to wear helmets.

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"There should be a cage in the on-deck circle so on-deck guys can stand behind the screen and not get hurt.

“Finally, when I coached third in the minor leagues, I always wore a cup. I always was concerned. So I think there needs to be a cup check for players around the field in order to prevent the loss of future families.

"I’m on board with protectionism. Head-first slides? What’s more dangerous than that?"

End of sermon.