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My doctor told me that he had a patient who said she was addicted to “Bald Facts” – that she had to get the Northwest Now immediately when it was delivered. He told her to take two aspirins and abstain from drinking for a week. Watch out, as the week is up soon.

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As wife June and I grow older, we have become more compatible.

Last night, we both came down with headaches.

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In the good old days, people used to hide their money in their shoes, but I find that credit cards have sharp edges that hurt my feet.

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In high school, I took four years of Latin, a dead language. Now my question is, does anyone know a dead person I can talk to?

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Wife June told me to run downstairs to get a roll of toilet paper. So I slowly walked downstairs, and found the toilet paper shelf with only one roll left. I came upstairs to install it in the bathroom, and oops, dropped it into the toilet.

My response to June, now, was, "I think we have to go shopping today for toilet paper.”

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People have accused me of talking to myself. That is not true, as I have a habit of thinking out loud.

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I am really glad that the practice, 25 to 30 years ago, of hyphenated last names is disappearing. Now if a boy and girl today with hyphenated names get married to each other, do they end up with four names and three hyphens?

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I have noticed that babies can be really peaceful sucking on a pacifier when they are tired, hungry or upset, etc. Maybe people who are angry, hungry, upset, etc. should have a pacifier.

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One thing about Wisconsin sports fans — they do like their cheese and rye bread with their whine over the way the last Packer game ended.

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In the current impasse of politics, especially in Washington, plus the mad dissenters, reminds me that our system of government is in the hands of politicians who have a truly conscientious bureaucrat that it can be sheer rapture in commotion.

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