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When I was in the service,  this soldier in my group wrote a love letter to his girlfriend every single day of the week. I met him a couple years later and asked if he was married to the girl he sent so many letters to, and his answer was, "She married the mailman who delivered the letters."

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I remember taking my granddaughter to this Mayfair store, and she was fascinated by the escalator. I turned to figure out where I could take her next to. When I looked back she was looking intensely at the moving hand rail. I asked her why she was watching the moving hand rail so intently.

"Well, Grandpa, I am waiting for my chewing gum to come back."

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My big dream in life is to win a million dollar lottery.  The very first thing I will do afterward when my friends hear about it is to deny it ever happened… they were misinformed.

"It wasn't me."

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After picking grapefruit for a family adventure in Florida, I asked my children what they liked or disliked about grapefruit. My youngest daughter piped up, “I don't like them when they give me a squirt of eye wash.”

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I had a problem on Sussex Main Street. The guy ahead of me was talking on his phone while riding his brakes. That was bad enough, but the woman behind me was on my rear bumper, and I could see that she was putting on her make-up.

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My wife June never, never repeats gossip, so I listen closely the first time.

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License plates decoded – “K8S L8” equals “Kate's late."

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Usually, I am a very confident guy. Confidence is what I have before I understand the problem.

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This Sussex couple couldn't afford a Florida vacation this year, but they better be able to afford enough to turn up the thermostat occasionally.

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