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Talking about Medicare, recently they only charged me $32 for X-rays, but then the front office tried to talk me and wife June into thinking about a series of 8-by-10s, along with wallet-sized prints.

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The last time I was in Lost Wages, we stayed at such a big hotel that just taking the elevator to the lobby I had already wasted two days of my vacation (and they charged me two days lodging for the in-hotel trip).

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Wife June has me on a crash diet, as she wants me to go down to my original weight, 8 pounds, 1 ounce.

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Then there are diet tips that I use: If no one sees you eating, it equals no calories.

Then while eating with someone else, if you eat the very same things, the calories are canceled out.

Also, while watching a long movie, any food you eat is canceled out as it is just a part of the entertainment experience, and besides, it is usually dark in the theater. No one sees, no one knows.

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I had some city slickers visit and I took them out to Lisbon's Fryda Farm to show them the cows. I explained that Wisconsin cows are completely automated milk manufacturing machines.

The front end (head) is a cutting and grinding machine. The machine is supported by four movable supports, one at each corner. Now the back end has a movable fly swatter. Then the machine has four spigots that dispense different flavors of milk: chocolate, skim, low fat and coffee cream.

The Wisconsin cow is really an amazing thing when you think about it hard enough.

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Wife June recently realized that the jewelry I got for her was from a very famous millionaire: Woolworths.

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My last two grandchildren are at the perfect age — too old to cry at night and too young to borrow the car.

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