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Life in the trenches truism: the very best time to start thinking about your retirement is way before your boss does.

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How come wife June is mad at me: long story short, she asked me to pass her lipstick to her. Unfortunately, unthinking, I passed her the glue stick.

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Sometimes there is no right way with wife June. For Easter, she bought me two ties, I looked at them, and laid them down. Her question to me was "don't you like the ties?" So to show her I liked the ties, I put on the green one, and laid the yellow one down. I asked her if she liked the green tie on me. Her quick answer was, "I see you don't like the yellow one."

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In the service in the early 1950s in the occupation army in Germany, Cpl. Rice was the big "lover" in our squad room. He had more girls chasing him, and they all thought they had him. Well, all of a sudden, with no notice he dropped Maria; no calls, no seeking her out, no nothing. After about two weeks, Maria saw Cpl. Rice on duty, and went up to him, asking what happened, no calls, no dates, no notice, nothing. So Cpl. Rice had to confess to Maria, "I can't go out with you anymore as I lost you in a poker game, a couple weeks ago."

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Talk about gambling. I was in Reno, the biggest little city in the world back in 1950, and I was only 18 years old, thus illegal to be in the establishment, but I was 6 feet, 5 1/2 inches and got by. This pretty looking young lady asked me to give her $2 so she could bet on a number in roulette. I said she was on if she bet her age number, with her putting the money on 22. However 28 came up, and she pouted, "How did that wheel know my age?"

I lost her immediately.

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Spring is here, and summer soon follows. All that the people can talk about is getting out to the golf courses, but when they come back I often detect a different pronunciation, as in golf curses.

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